Dear [NAME OF COMPANY] HR Person Who Has To Read Whatever This Is…

First of all, bless ya. Seriously.

Look — I heard it was bad form to start a cover letter with “to whom it may concern,” or any of that formal-but-cold business speak. For a while, I considered “‘sup, Tina?” in the vain hope that the person in HR tasked with reading my nonsensical ramblings might, in fact, be named Tina.

Then again, if this person’s name was — in fact — Tina, they might find it very upsetting, which might lead them to — you know —…

Andy Xyzzy

Person who writes things. Sometimes I record things, too.

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